Ever felt like this?
Ever wished for different hair?
Ever dyed your hair?
Ever permed your hair?
YOU'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!
the best, ignoring the rest
I scour the joker's sky net
My dyed-in-the-'wool' quest: Prove blondes dumb (I jest!)
Real humour cannot be a threat !
|HOW DO YOU KEEP
DUMB BLONDE BUSY?
is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
.... data transfer.
do you have when you stand 100 blondes next to each other, shoulder to
....a wind tunnel.
do blondes have more fun?
.... they are easier to keep amused.
many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
...10...one to mix the dough and nine to peel the M&M's.
do you call 100 blondes sitting in a circle?
.....a dope ring
do men like blonde jokes?
...because they can understand them.
many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
...100...1 to put in the bulb and the others to turn the house around.
do blonde brain cells die?
a blonde's favorite saying?
..... I don`t know
do you get when you cross a blonde with a brunette?
..... Artificial Intelligence
do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
do you call 20 blondes in a freezer ?
.... frosted flakes.
do blondes have see-through lunchbox tops ?
...so they can tell whether they are going to work or going home.
do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
.... a space invader.
does a blonde owl say ?
.... what, what ....t-wit t-oo
does a blonde keep a coat hanger on her backseat?
.... in case she locks the keys in her car.
did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only
.... because the box said from 2-4 years
blonde went into a shop and asked to buy the TV in the window. The shopkeeper
told her he was sorry but she couldn't because she was blonde. She dyed
her hair red and brunette in the following days but he still said "No,
you are a blonde". She then asked how he knew she was blonde and he answered
that it was a microwave in the window.
A blonde was driving down a country lane when she saw a strange sight so she stopped and got out of the car. In the middle of the paddock was a blonde, rowing a boat. The blonde driver called out to the rower, saying she must stop this nonsense as it would give blondes a bad name. The rower ignored her so she called out again, adding "If I could swim I'd come out there and stop you myself!"
There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly, a fairy
appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first
blonde wishes she was smart. Instantly, she is turned into a redhead
and she swims off the island.
The next one wishes she was smarter than the last blonde, so instantly she is turned into a brunette. The brunette builds a boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde wishes to become even smarter than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge. (This is proof that I have a sense of humour)
policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on
a one-way street.
Cop: "Do you know where you were going?"
Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the people were leaving."
blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes
with a coat hanger:
Blonde #1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"
Blonde #2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, it's starting to rain and the top is down!"
a plane to Auckland, the stewardess asked a blonde in First Class to move
to Economy, since she did not have a first-class ticket. The blonde
"I'm blonde and beautiful, I'm going to Auckland and I'm
The stewardess reported this to the Captain,who said he was married to a blonde, so knew how to handle the matter. He went and spoke quietly to her and she immediately rushed off to the Economy section, muttering
"Why didn't anyone say so?"
The stewardess asked how the Captain had accomplished this and he said
"I told her the First Class section isn't going to Auckland."
blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which.
She tried cropping one's tail but it grew again to match the other; she
notched one's ear but the other snagged on barbed wire and looked the same.
On a friend's suggestion, she measured them for height and was very pleased
to find the black one was a hand higher than the white one.
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