Cheese sauce

       A nice cheese sauce is what you need
       When you feel all full of greed
       It covers any tastelessness
       And turns mistakes to meals of bliss
 

       Bea YawzELLff
 
 
 

  The Sorceror and the Witch

      A saucy sorceror sat in sauce
       I don't know why he did, of course
       I think because of his divorce
       A thing that witch of his did force

       That spicy sauce soon multiplied
       It spread around him, there he spied
       Chillies, gherkins, onion fried
       "I hate this sauce", he loudly cried

       "This isn't what I did expect
       When my wife and I did not connect
       I knew she shouldn't join that sect
       Her favours then they did collect"

       "I'll caste a spell", he then did frown
       "I'll send this sauce to bog them down
       Some mud and herbs to turn it brown
       Will have them skating out of town"

       That muddy sauce he then did send
       It had them hopping round the bend
       On his merry way, he then did wend
       To find himself another saucy friend.
 

       slug
 
 
 
 
 
 

  SOURCE of Pleasure

       Le fantôme has bought a computer!
       (This will make three that he's got).
       The price-tag is $5000.00 (N.Z)
       Or two-six-five-o, an American said.

       He thought that he should have a lap-top,
       A Travelmate 512T
       With 4 gigabytes on the hard disk,
       And 64 k memory.
       Fifty-six k modem built-in
       And 24-speed CD-Rom,
       Built-in speakers, as well as a track-ball,
       This Acer should not be a bomb!
       Speed is three-sixty-six mhz,
       (Puts old Pentium 200 to shame)
       Untold video RAM and colours
       And Win 98 for le fantôme to tame!

       Of course, he will keep the old Pentium,
       And dispose of an aged 486,
       A DX with 400 mb disk, 12 k of RAM,
       And a 14400 k modem built-in,
       No CD nor other smart tricks.

       Does that make me 'le fantôme impertinent',
       The saucy phantom, who troubles your dreams?
       Remember he's also the amiable one,
       So please suppress somnolent screams.
       (Just trying to stay with the themes.)
 

       le fantôme-vaniteux amical
 
 
 
 

 SOURCE of Pleasure2

       A source of pleasure to you
       seems something less to a certain wacker.
       I heard it on the news,
       a whole new concept of a hacker.

       Seems she lost her patience,
       lost her wits about her too.
       Tired of all her husbands chats,
       and his cyber-girlfriend zoo.

       She asked him one last time to stop,
       he said she was a chit.
       So she found a brand new, shiney axe
       and hacked that thing to bits.

       pag
 
 
 
 
 

  A Saucy Miss
 

       Mary had a little lamb
       With lovely green mint sauce
       She had it roasted in a pan
       With tatees too of course

       007
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  Et sorcerer
 

       Double, double, toil and trouble
       In the cauldron boil and bubble
       Liquid spells of sorcery
       Remove the nether sores, you see.

       (e.g. Home brew -- phew!)
 

       le fantôme-sorcier amical
 
 
 
 
 
 

 You say tewmaatoe, I say toemawtoe
 

      While speaking with a Kiwi friend,
      whose dialect I did enjoy,
      I detected similarities of a New England blend,
      a couple I'll try to employ.

      One word in particular I pronounce saw,
      and for me, it's always rhymed with haw.
      But in her tongue, 'saw' became 'sar',
      amazingly rhyming with 'har'.

      So now, I wonder, if indeed
      the sauce herein is really 'sarce'.
      How is this pronunciation really keyed?
      Would sauce rhyme 'toss', or 'farce'?
 

      pag
 
 
 
 

You say tewmaatoe, I say toemawtoe 2
 

      I could tap out sauce and source
       In morse, without remorse,
       Except I have a paucity of force,
       When tapping morse.

       Haw, haw, I say, haw, haw,
       I understand that's four.
       If you hear us speak badly
       You will shudder
       And likely run off screaming to yer mudder.
 

       le fantôme-orateur amical
 
 
 
 

 Et sorcerer
 

      I see this theme has et cetera,
      Opening up a broad field,
      Including the source of a river
      And the sores too much sitting doth yield.

      le fantôme-enflammé amical
 
 
 
 

 White Sauce

      Lady D, when served some meat
      Smothered in pallid gravy
      Launched a probing investigation
      And declared it wasn't savory
      "This gives me goosebumps" shivered she
      "'Tis but a paltry dish
      If I eat off-white drumsticks
      I'd prefer a legged fish!"

      Where upon her guesting Troubadour
      Took a closer look
      Mislead by lumps of roux sauce
      He proclaimed "Just see that chook!"
      His eyes were staring, not at
      Poultry or salamander
      Which shows what's sauce for the goose
      Can be a source for a gander!
 

      Troubadour
 
 
 
 

 SAUCE

      What do you do for a finishing touch
      When cooking up a storm?
      Why, you should add a hot mustard
      - For ham that is the norm

      But if the food you have is sweet
      It's dessert you do adorn
      Will you still choose to use mustard?
      The eaters you should warn!

          Lady D
 
 
 

Sauce

      A sassy sorcerer of course
      Must try to find the source of sauce
      Of course he pours it on his horse
      Then lets it run the desert cross
      The horse of course, but not the sauce
      Which fertilizes sphagnum moss
      That when the monsoon blows across
      Makes yummy sphagnum horsey sauce
      The cause of sauce is not the horse
      But sauce that pours on sphagnum moss
      And loss of sauce of course is forced
      By sorcerers most curious

      Larry A. Tilander
 

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