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 Ode to Liquidity
 
 
 
 

From Riches to Rags
 

       He spent his dollar, t'was his last.
       All his riches were a thing of the past.
       He drank until he became pie-eyed.
       Seems his assets are now liquified.

       pag
 
 
 

  Liquididity
 

       Had this theme been 'fluidity'
       I could have written about gases;
       Poetry such as never was seen
       By the unwashed masses.

       le whatever
 
 
 
 

  Liquidiousnesses
 

       Life is Liquid

       Life is liquid, have a drink
       Gasoline, it's drive and think
       Life is liquid, rivers run
       Coffee, tea, a little fun
       Life is liquid, smile, forget
       Before the wind has dried the sweat
       Life is liquid, cheers, good-bye
       Liquid life runs from my eye
       Life is liquid, bubbling day
       Like a stream you've run away

       this little figgie
 
 
 
 

  Salty
 

       Water water everywhere
       Nor any drop to drink
       If I could get this water gone
       My old boat couldn't sink

       But how to zap a whole ocean
       How to make it gone
       A fire, that's the answer here
       Evaporate to yon

       That's one big fire I'd need to light
       And what it if condensed?
       The rain would come a-pouring down
       That wouldn't make much sense

       My boat would burn to cinders
       I'll end up on the floor
       With all the fish and octopi
       I'd have to eat them raw

       So I just think I'll drink saltwater
       Do my thyroid good
       And leave the ocean well alone
       I'll do that coz I should
 

       slug
 
 
 
 

  Don't Drop Your Genes
 

       GM used to bring to mind
       A good-sized comfy car -
       Genetic Modification now
       Supplants it, how bizaare!

       I've had a thought the scientists
       Have, very likely, missed;
       This should solve the problem
       For the abolitionist.

       Suppose you marinate your food
       In sundry quarts of gin
       Then, while it drips, open your mouth
       And slip the morsel in.

       Suppose you keep this up for days,
       From morn 'til eventide,
       You can surely claim your food's
       GIN-etic modified.
 

       le fantôme amical
 
 
 
 

  WARM WATER, WHATEVER
 

       We ran out of water the other day
       No town supply out here
       If, perchance, it doesn't rain
       Our tank empties, I fear
       See, most of the water, rain supplied
       Was used in baths so deep
       Wherein I lay in luxury
       - Like tea, I need to steep
       Thus, when our water failed to run
       I called for action stations
       We switched the pipe into the well
       Pumped up a taste sensation
       The well has water, mineral-rich
       'Though filtered just to drink
       'Tis a flavour unsurpassed
       - It makes my tastebuds shrink
       And as my bath with water filled
       I saw to my distress
       Water, black and full of gunge
       - I used it none-the-less
       The hue was like a good strong brew
       When I got in to soak
       I gained a coat of 'Instant Tan'
       My tannin bath, I joke

       Lady D
 
 
 
 

  A Liquid Ditty
 

       I cannot write an ode to it
       This juice don't make me witty
       You might say that's about half right:
       Red wine's what makes me twitty
 
 

       Troubadour
 
 
 
 
 

 ode oad owed
 

      Speaking of liquidity,
      I've found that aridity
      Invites ingestion of fluidity.

      To write a fluent ode,
      One needs to be bestowed
      With brains by the cartload.

      I knew a poetess, who glowed
      With skill and sheer validity,
      Infected by a nematode
      Which caused her some turbidity.

      It also meant viridity
      Within her innards flowed,
      Diminished her stolidity,
      Upon the home commode.

      Her heart with gladness overflowed,
      Despite lack of solidity,
      When she finally bestrode
      The source of much acridity.

      Revolted by this episode,
      Let's exit with rapidity.

      le fantôme-courant amical
 
 
 
 

 From Owed to Liquidity
 

      There was a time, when I owed;
      Thank the Ju-ju that time is past!
      I slaved away fair diligently
      And got into credit at last.

      I looked up the old bank balance,
      Not with an air of cupidity,
      But merely to satisfy myself
      I had attained liquidity.

      "Aha! Take a look at that!" I said,
      "The flamin' thing's finally out of the red!"
 
 
 

      le fantôme amical
 
 
 

 How far can you run? Do you know?
 

      Liquid paper blots it out-a
      What you just don't know about-a

      Liquid Ouzo makes you boozo
      Drink too much, it makes you snoozo

      Liquid whisky makes you frisky
      Drink too much, it's very risky

      Liquid honey's very sticky
      Very runny, makes you licky

      Liquid water's what you oughta
      Drink a lot of, not the port-a

      Liquid cleaner cleans the dirt-a
      Even gets it off your shirt-a

      When you lose liquidity
      That's no time to have a spree

      When you're liquid then you know
      Just how far that you can go
 
 

      slug
 
 

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