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Things that go bump in the night!

       While sitting at the table
       After finishing a meal
       I heard a little noise
       But I didn't think to squeal

       While watching TV later
       The cat pounced near the fire
       I pulled my feet onto my chair
       But I didn't quite expire

       Later in the kitchen
       Making a cup of tea
       A rattle in the teabags...
       A mouse stared right at me!


Lady D

  Tired Poets

       If some of our friends don't go Bump here soon
       They are likely to get ostracised,
       Which can be unpalatably painful,
       I hope you've all realised.
       Bump, Bump, Bump.

       le fantôme-solitaire amical

     Bump Bump Bump

       Bump Bump Bump
       Please don't ostracise me!
       Thump Thump Thump
       And please do not capsize me!

       I went out on a boat
       In the middle of the night
       What I saw around me
       Gave me an awful fright

       A host of ghosts surrounded me
       Said "Go to Poet's Portaloo
       Quickly before it is too late!
       Or you'll meet your Waterloo!"

       So I paddled and paddled
       As fast as I could
       Away from the ghost
       That was wearing a hood

       And came to write about
       In Death's Valley
       Where black things were flying
       Around in the alley

       We didn't know what those things were
       Can you take a guess at that?
       Mesmerising as they were
       Not viewed by me before, the bat.



       Nothing went bump in the night, last night,
       Not even le fantôme,
       To waken me it would have taken
       Not less than a bomb!

       le fantôme-serein amical


       When you encounter an old banshee
       The blood in your veins will be iced
       But that will be nothing, compared with your fear,
       When attacked by a poltergeist!

       le fantôme-wooo-oo amical


       "What's that creak?" the child cowers
       A sheltering pillow, buried for hours
       Peek not past the blanket edge
       Horror movies all re-dredge
       Until "Lightswitch!" a brain empowers

       Lady D

 Bump, Bump, me bum/p

      Rap, rap, I'm a ghost,
      I deviate from the theme,
      Because I don't Bump,
      I just rap and I scream.

      What's more, I do not
      Do it only at night,
      It means nothing to me
      When I give you a fright!

      For my amusement
      I'll lurk in your houses,
      Attired in a shroud
      Or, more likely, trousers.

      With my head on my neck
      Or under my arm
      I'll over-excite you
      But mean you no harm.

      le fantôme-croyable amical

 Replay from the day

      Lying in bed all cosy and warm
      I hear a sound that's not the norm
      A crashing frypan
      Voices murmur and....
      No one there when in I storm

      Lady D

 What's that Tapping?

      T'was a sound quite eerie
      on a night quite dreary
      a constant tapping at my door.
      "Please go away," I did implore.

      But it continued through the night
      causing me terrific fright.
      As dawn approached, I venured out
      fearing what I'd find, no doubt.

      I felt relief down to my core.
      T'was just a branch, and nothing more.



      Things that go bump in the night
      And moanings that give you a fright;
      A spook with another to hector,
      And screaming chain-saw to bisect 'er,
      Howling away through the night,
      Then you all need the amiable spectre.

      le fantôme-scieur amical

 Was it a Bump?

      Twenty years ago
      I lived in Perth
      In a bottom level flat
      Close to the earth

      Every night
      This bumping sound
      Above my head
      Came to the ground

      Then a rolling noise
      Was heard
      Like ball bearings
      In a word

      I'll never know
      What that noise was
      My mind was boggling
      Over in Oz


The Dark Hours

      We live in the country with no street lights
      So the house is as dark as pitch at nights
      When nature calls and I roam from bed
      I try to walk through walls instead

      Lady D

The Dark, Dark Hours

      I've been in Lady D's house in the dark,
      Arisen and done it, too.
      She should have night-lights along her hallway,
      Defining the track to the loo.

      le fantôme amical

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