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TO LOVE OR NOT TO LOVE

The MANual

       Ken read the manual
       And came to realize
       Don't matter if you did no wrong
       It's best apologise

       A dozen syntheroses
       Some pseudochocolate goo
       Now Ken's upon his gallant knee
       "Oh Barbie, I love you."

       She nibbles on the sweets
       She plucks apart a rose
       "Oh Ken, I wonder if you are
       Now trying to propose?"

       He stares at her green face
       And his looks greenish too
       "Oh Barb my one eternal love
       I haven't got a clue

       I'm just on chapter six
       On how to treat a gal
       It's not 'til chapter twenty eight
       We deal with proposal

       According to the book
       You're s'posed to smile at me
       And kiss me in the pretty way
       Described in chapter three."

       fbeepig
 

UNCONQUERABLE DIFFERENCES

       Aliens are not the same
       Kissing seemed a sort of suction
       She hated it, she was a clone
       Different reproduction

       Bea
 

So it was, these astronauts
       Whose difference was more than skin deep
       Agreed their love would be as friends
       And they'd stay together for keeps

       Troubadour

The cheque is in the mail, and other unbelievable things.

      That dreaded line for man to here
      That always will inspire fear
      Where hope and happiness all ends
      She said so sweetly, "Let's be friends."

      melonfiggy baby

 Getting under her skin

     At least she didn't say "Dear John..."
      At least she won't say, "Well, so long..."
      Ken takes comfort from the thought
      By propinquity, she might be caught

      Troubadour
 

TOO DIFFERENT

      Barbie has a right to be
      Put off by Ken who sucks
      In her world they finger-tip
      And have electric.....um

      Bea YawzELLEff
 
 

    Ken should stick to human gals
      Instead of aliens
      Then he might have more suckcess
      Kissing real mammalians

      Lady D

 Advice for Ken

      Avoid those sticky gals there Ken
      Until they take a shower
      Beware the suction danger lad
      Back to your corner, cower

      And as for Tip, ain't heard of him
      How long's he been around?
      Don't do that to him any more
      The practice isn't sound

      Dr. Ruthless Figgenhiemer
 

just to really confuse you...

      Fig wants to know who Tip is
      The question's really What?
      Fig figured Tip got fingered
      But it's the end a finger has got

      Bea

Sign language

      Let's not get into finger signs
      Barbie'll misinterpret for sure
      A sign for victory by Ken
      Might mean anything-but, to her

      Troubadour
 

How Barbies are made

      I want you all to understand
      Just how an alien child is planned
      With a woman from an alien land
      It's all in the way she holds his hand

      A yellow-greenish plastic girl
      Has no hormone-driven whirl
      She makes a fellow's fingers curl
      And clones appeal as they unfurl

      Lady D
 

Did the Beatles know what their lyrics really meant????

      That all seems a dandy plan,
      though now, of course, I understand
      that look of fear Ken's face did scan
      when Barbie sang, "I wanna hold your hand."

      pag
 

GET down TO earth

     Ken you poor poor lonely chap
      It's time you changed your tune
      Astropup is faithful and
      His demands aren't for the moon

      Troubadour
 

Man's best friend is a dog
      A woman's is a stone
      (Diamonds never lose value)
      The same goes for a clone

      Bea
 

Astro Pup and the moon.

      Pup can't demand the moon again
      'Cause he already ate it
      'Twas kinda moldy, still quite good
      Old chedder he did rate it

      And as for broads and stones and clones
      I don't think I'll go there
      Except to say that unlike pups
      They're cold, and do not care

      figinator
 

You are SO right, Fig, old chap
      My mind is back on track
      The reason I came into space
      Was adventures, not the sack

      KEN
 

I guess Ken and Barbie weren't meant to be..
      Aliens don't understand kissing..
      But there's nothing wrong with being friends..
      Perhaps it's not much they are missing!

      der blumers
 

GO TO CHAPTER 8

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